A special someone inspired me to write about this, someone I met quite by accident. Accident no, Destiny yes.
Life is strange, it likes to do strange things. It plays with you, toys with you. It can make you, or break you. Some call it fate, others call it destiny. Everybody is challenged by it, and none have figured it out in totality. None can control it, but some think they do.
I believe that Destiny (Fate) is that all-encompassing master program written by That Master Programmer up in the sky. But guess what He doesn’t care to comment His code or explain His algorithm.
There is a school of thought that says, Destiny is in our own hands, that we can control our destiny. I believe that this is fallacy. The only control you have is to reconcile with events as they unfold, and embrace possibilities with the intent to explore and unravel the mysteries.
The trick is to imagine that Life is nothing but a series of roller coaster rides, and try to enjoy the thrill at each twist and turn. We are all strapped in, the moment we take birth, and we get let out when our time is up. Surely the moment we take birth we start to die don’t we? Then why do we find it so difficult to understand that when time has already started running out the moment we are born, we must simply seize it with both hands and live each day as if it were our last?
Unfortunately most of us fail to seize the moment, and live the rest of our lives in regret, saying, thinking, feeling and hoping….what if?
Throughout our lives we keep meeting people, some we like, others we don’t. Yet even from the ones we like (and I like very few), there are some people with whom there is an instant connection, a chemistry, a bond, and a feeling that it was meant to be.
Sometimes, the odds are so stacked against us, it makes one’s head spin. Well we have choices, however, like a firefly that gets attracted to the light, we get drawn towards circumstances, people, situations, that seem daunting, challenging, and even impossible. Such circumstances, events, situations test the mettle of a man. Most walk away from it, seeking the beaten path.
I believe in and seek abstraction, and one of my favorite ones is the good old 80:20 Rule.
How many times have we seen or at least heard opinions about people who choose to the buck the trend? We’re called “radical”, “maverick”, “outlandish”, and even mad.
So let me ask this. That someone who proposed that the world was round, against the conventional wisdom of a flat world……..need I say more?
The general population is divided into two sets, those who can and those who can’t. And even in the “those who can” category, there are but a few, who will willingly, go up against all odds, fully well knowing that the chances of achievement are next to nothing. For those who dare, taking that impossible step is an achievement in itself. That is what we must mean when we say that we can control our Destiny.
I once met a young girl, smart, witty, intelligent, attractive and on the face of it, all seemed well. But I trust my gut, and my gut told me something was amiss. A few snippets here, a little there, a little probing, and it all came out in the wash. She’s challenged with happiness and has but two options to achieve what she is looking for. One is the middle of the road, run of the mill way of doing what society expects, what family expects, of not hurting people.
Hindsight is a wonderful thing as is experience. Like her, I’ve continued to meet, several people in similar predicaments, and working with such people is such a wonderful experience in itself. Challenging? Surely. But in learning what makes them tick, enables me, at each step, to learn a that little more about myself.
We end up hurting ourselves, and all around us when we are not true to what we really want. Trust me, I say this with authority.
Everything we do has an effect of somebody, some like what we do, some don’t, and there will always be an opinion. The question is, are we living our lives for everybody else, or are we allowed to hope, to dream. Indeed are we allowed to be happy?
What is happiness, how is it measured, where are we looking for it? Elusive are the answers, and more often than not, they are buried deep within ourselves. Problem is that the search in itself is futile, when we pose those questions with an underlying of “what will people say, what will they think?”
And then of course are the overwhelming odds, that we will ever get the opportunity of truly achieving our goals and our true potential. Sadly, the riders deflect the opportunities away from us, and we end up with a “could have”, “should have”, “would have”.
When the situation is hopeless, that’s when we should be hoping against hope. Hope is a wonderful thing. Hope for a new tomorrow, a new relationship, a new opportunity. If we embrace all of these with the spirit of accepting that there are forces at play that we cannot even begin to comprehend, then the experience can be truly amazing.
When we deal with adversity, through procrastination, we only succeed in making things worse. All adversity can be overcome, provided we take that step of recognizing that we need to do something.
Perhaps it will sound contradictory to some, that on the one hand I believe that everything is predestined, and on the other I prescribe in taking on the odds?
The trick lies not in the result, but in the actions that we take to realize impossible dreams. Leaving the result to destiny is not bad, however, sitting back waiting for “something” to happen is a waste of time. At least we would have tried, and the success or failure of that attempt, will only eliminate that which is not possible.
Every life event is an opportunity, even adversity, and every opportunity has two possible outcomes, success or failure. Decision trees surround us, but being up to taking the decision is something that most of us walk away from each time, taking us one step further from what “could”, “should” or “would” have been.
Even if it’s all written, is pre-destined, we don’t know whats written, so how about exploring the possibilities or the options just so we can arrive at the predestined conclusion a little sooner than later?